My Aha Moment

I'll be honest. I haven't always been the most supportive dental school wife-to-be. I think I can fake it pretty well, but I have had many moments of bitterness and frustration throughout this process. 

Bitter that we have to delay having children. Frustrated with the mounting debt. Bitter that I have to financially support us 100%. Frustrated that Joe has 4 more years of school. Bitter that I had to move across the country and away from my family and friends. Frustrated that I don't know what our immediate and distant future is going to look like. 

Etc.

When these feelings come, I try so hard to suppress them because this is the path we are on and a path I agreed to. I also know that my mood hugely impacts Joe's mood, so it's selfish for me to stew in bitterness and frustration. Once Joe starts school, I can't allow him to catch onto my negativity, as he will need to feel 100% happy and secure at home in order to focus on school the best he can.

I can't control much about our lives in dental school- but I CAN control the environment I create at home. For that reason, I am so grateful for an experience  we had on Saturday. As cheesy as it sounds, it was a real "aha moment" (Oprah would be proud) and one that I know I will look back on over the next four years when the negativity starts creeping in.

Saturday morning we decided it was high time to get my car registered in Pennsylvania. For some reason, this is privatized in PA, and so we couldn't do it at the DMV when we got our drivers' licenses.

***Side Note*** Hey PA - I'd much prefer alcohol sales be privatized than car registrations. Having to go to state run liquor stores for wine/liquor and beer stores for beer (because God forbid beer is sold in the same place as wine and liquor) is a serious pain in the butt ***End of Side Note***

Joe found the place on Yelp, and apparently the guy who owns(?) it is very helpful and friendly. He absolutely was! Just a super pleasant, friendly guy who knew every car registration question you threw at him. Since the process is a bit lengthy, as he was filling out the paperwork he asked what brought us to Philly and what we did in California. Joe explained that he was starting dental school and that in California he worked with people with developmental disabilities before he went back to school.

***Side Note*** For those of you new to the blog or who have memories like mine ;) as his job in college, Joe taught people with developmental disabilities life and vocational skills so they could be as independent as possible. When he moved to California after graduation, he worked as a case worker for people with developmental disabilities, making sure they were receiving the right benefits and connecting them with services. It was actually the realization that it was so difficult for this population to find dental care that motivated him to pursue dentistry (a career path he had considered throughout high school and early college) ***End of Side Note***

As soon as Joe mentioned his work with people with developmental disabilities, the man's face lit up and he told us about his son who is 26 and developmentally disabled. He has always struggled with doctors and dentists, and explained that some medical professionals won't even work with him. Those who ARE willing aren't always equipped with the skills (or patience). The man told Joe how great it was that he would be able to work with this population, and seemed so excited that wherever we wind up parents of developmentally disabled children and adults will have a dentist with Joe's experience.

I can't really do justice to this story, because the power was in the man's tone and expressions (the communications major in me requires me to remind you that up to 90% of all communication is non-verbal). When we got in the car, Joe started driving off and I started bawling.

I was so touched by this man's story and seeing how excited he was with Joe's background and career choice. I explained this to Joe, since he didn't seem phased, and he told me that this is exactly why he went back to school. That he has heard countless parents with the same stories and concerns, most brought to tears because they cannot find adequate dental care for their children. 

This, of course, made me cry harder and I realized I had an "aha moment" while talking with this man.

I always knew that dentistry is important and that what Joe is pursuing will help him make a difference in the world, but it felt very abstract. On Saturday, I was able to put a face to Joe's mission and now I feel so different about it. I am so proud of him, inspired by him, and want to do whatever I can to help him succeed.

I know that in the tough times that will undoubtedly come over the next several years, my mind will flash back to last Saturday and I will use it as fuel.

How blessed I feel to have had that experience :)