I REACHED MY POINTS!

Last week I finally did it: I hit 2500 points! (Click here if you have no idea what I am talking about).

With such an awesome reward (new clothes for next month's cruise!), I was pretty excited when I finally racked up that 2500th point. To celebrate, Joe and I went out to lunch and spent much of last Saturday shopping. Unfortunately, I found nothing (how anti-climactic!), so when we got home I browsed Modcloth and put a large order in :) THAT was fun. 

I'll be honest, I did cheat a little with my reward. I was at the point a few weeks ago where I knew for a fact I was going to hit my points by the cruise so I started buying some dresses on Modcloth. I justified it because they were almost sold out of a few things I wanted, so I decided that if something was almost sold-out I could buy it early. Here are the dresses that I have so far for the cruise: 

I can't wait to see which ones work out from the order I placed Saturday :) 

Now that I have hit my point goal, however, I am in danger of not FITTING in these dresses. I didn't realize how awesome the points were at curbing my bad behaviors until I stopped tracking them. Suddenly I am once again the gluttonous, booze-addicted person that I was pre-January. 

Not good.

And all the other things I earned points for? Totally slacking on those too. I haven't flossed in days (sorry Joe) and I haven't been taking my vitamins. Joe thinks I am rebelling since I had to be so good for so long (he's probably right), but with less than a month before the cruise I don't have time to rebel. I need to get back in the swing of exercise, healthy-eating, and taking care of myself in general. So, starting tomorrow, I am going to start logging points again. I just need to think of a new motivation :)

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Bye Bye Scale

Oh what a tease I am. I mention in my last post that I am a few days away from my monthly weigh-in, and then I don't bother to blog until a week after said weigh-in day. I am sure you are all dying from the anticipation ;)

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but I only lost 0.6 pounds.

Yup. You read that right. After a MONTH of busting my butt in the gym and being very careful with food and alcohol (I honestly don't think I have ever worked so hard to lose weight in my life), I didn't even lose a whole pound.

I was livid.

Until my trainer measured me.

Then I found out I lost a TONNNNNN of inches. FIFTEEN to be exact. Here's the breakdown:

Not too shabby for four weeks :)

The measurements helped calm me down A LOT, but I can't stop thinking about the scale. My pride at getting such amazing results is constantly tempered because every time I think about the inches lost or put on an article of clothing that is looser, my brain snaps me back to that moment when I stepped on the scale and it read 195. How unfair is that when I worked so hard and EARNED the right to be proud of myself?

So I'm done. I don't care what the scale says anymore. I want to lose weight because I want to look better and I want to get stronger. People don't see my weight tattooed to my forehead when I walk down the street, they see what I physically look like. And I am kicking butt in the gym, getting stronger every single time I train.

I'm sure I'll eventually weigh myself again, but for now I don't want anything to do with the scale.

Instead, I'll just keep flexing in the mirror (my new favorite pastime) and reminding myself of this:

Source: http://bodyconsciousnessblog.com

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2000 Points!

For those of you newer to the blog, you may not know that at the beginning of the year I created a point system for myself to help keep me accountable with my health. You can read the whole post here.

The gist is that I would reward myself points for making healthy choices (exercise, drinking water, taking vitamins, flossing, etc.) and I would lose points for making unhealthy choices (drinking booze, eating sweets, etc.). In the past I have done point systems and they have helped keep me accountable, so I figured I would try it again.

There have been some tweaks here and there, but I finally arrived on 2500 as the final number of points I needed to earn my reward: new clothes for our cruise in June! I'm excited to say that as of today, I have surpassed the 2000 point mark and am less than 500 points away from a shopping spree!!!

Honestly, I wouldn't be where I am today without my trainer. As helpful as the point system can be, I was getting pretty lazy in the weeks leading up to taking the plunge and signing up for personal training. Not only that, but even if I had somehow motivated myself to exercise for points, there is no way I would be as strong as I am now... or have some of the muscle tone that is developing (and making me do double-takes in the mirror). She is amazing - and training is one of the best investments I have ever made in my life.

The hardest part about having a trainer is that I had to promise her I would only weigh myself monthly. For someone as obsessed with the scale as me, that was rough. And it also means that I have no clue what I weigh right now. At last check, I was down 12 pounds since January 1, but that was 3 weeks ago. I'll have a better idea on Monday when I get to weigh myself again :)

But even if I can't weigh myself, I see a difference in pictures:

These aren't the best comparison shots, but I didn't have many pre-point pictures where my whole face was visible. I realize looking back that I cut off part of my face in almost every single picture I have of myself. I was too embarrassed by how puffy it was getting and thought I could disguise my weight gain. Sad.

Another difference I can see is with my strength. Every single time I train, I am able to do more and push harder than the previous session. One thing I am particularly proud of is that I'm almost ready to transition into "real" push-ups (as opposed to the push-ups where you are on your knees). I remember back to doing the 30 Day Shred and how I couldn't make it through 10 push-ups even on my knees. Now I can bust out 10 knee push-ups like nobody's business :)

I am so proud of myself, and I can't wait for my shopping spree! I have a feeling that, unlike typical shopping days, this one won't involve me crying in the fitting room... unless I happen to cry tears of joy ;)

Just 53 more days until we set sail! I can't wait to see how much more progress I can make.

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Weigh-In Day!

Per my trainer's request, I've ceased my weekly weigh-ins and promised that I will only weigh myself every month or so. This is hard for me, as sometimes the difference between me saying "yes" or "no" to some fat-filled snack is knowing that I am weighing myself in the morning.

I do have to say, it's been freeing to forget about the number for a while and to just focus on changing my diet and exercising more, but it also builds up the actual weigh-in because so much time has passed and a big number is expected (by me, at least).

I last weighed myself about 3 weeks ago, and this morning I had the okay from my trainer to weigh-in so we could see where I am at. To be honest, I didn't expect much. This weekend was quite depressing as I tried on clothes that fit in the not-too-distant past but would barely (if that) zip now. I pictured my fat hanging over my Lucky Brand skinny jeans that I retired on the first leg of our road trip last year, but had served me faithfully in the months leading up to that trip. I know what I weighed then, and if the pants weren't fitting now I was undoubtedly going to be in for some bad news on the scale.

Prepared for the worst, I didn't even bother bringing my cell phone into the bathroom so I could take a picture of the scale. But I wish I had, because when I stepped on it I saw 195.8 flash before my eyes.

UNDER 200! SCOOOORRREEEEE!!!!!

And not just under 200 - almost halfway to the 180's!

PLUS that means that I have lost a total of 12 pounds since January 1. I know that is very slow going, but it's a solid loss and I am thrilled to be back in onederland.

I still don't get the jeans thing. I KNOW these pants fit better when I was this weight before. But I seem to be losing from my face and limbs much more quickly than my middle (unlike previous weight-loss where it was almost like someone pricked me with a needle and I deflated all over like a balloon). This isn't a terrible thing, because when summer comes I can disguise a middle with a dress. And it won't be long before my tummy is forever shot thanks to pregnancy anyway. But I hate that I still only have one pair of jeans that fit.... and that those jeans are about to fall apart in certain places thanks to some good old fashioned thigh-rubbing.

I'm not going to dwell too much, though. After all, my trainer thinks it is realistic for me to lose about 2 pounds a week from now until the cruise. If that happens, I'll be around 175 for Bermuda! Frankly, if I can just be in the 170's as we pull out of the port, I'll be so happy!

Now I just have to focus on continuing to earn points so I can buy a new wardrobe for the cruise :)

I won't lie, I have maybe bought a dress (or two) that I am saving for the cruise. Hey - sometimes deals are too good to pass up ;) But I have promised myself that I can't wear them until the cruise and if I don't get all my points, I have to return them.

My bestie Stacey flies into Philly tomorrow for a few days, and I am sure that we'll be getting our shopping on (in addition to watching copious amounts of Full House). Though I hate to buy another pair at my current size, maybe I should try to find some in-betweener jeans. After all, I don't want a wardrobe malfunction.

And I am sure some of you are sick and tired of hearing about weight. Heck, I am sick and tired of talking about it. But life is pretty boring right now.

Can't wait for Stacey to come spice it up for the next 4 days :)

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Sore Tuesday

Forget Fat Tuesday; today is Sore Tuesday.

There was no way that after busting my butt in the gym yesterday I was going to overindulge today - despite the built-in excuse ;) I was actually surprised that I wasn't in more pain, because I legitimately thought there was a chance I was going to barf, pass out, or die during my first official workout yesterday. But none of the above happened, so I consider that a HUGE win.

I DID Jillian, I swear!

I can't imagine how embarrassing it would have been if I actually puked or passed out. Heck, it was already an embarrassing experience because I had to train in the men's training area.

***Side Note*** By "men's training area,"I mean the co-ed free weight room that few women dare step foot in, either because they don't know what to do, are afraid of getting hit on, or don't want to "bulk up" (which is stupid, because weight-training is so important in slimming down). ***End of Side Note***

Instead of easing me into the "man zone," my trainer popped my weight room cherry by making me do lunges the entire length of the room and back. Twice.

I was SO MORTIFIED.

Not only have I just recently been re-taught how to lunge (I apparently forgot every single thing my trainer 5 years ago taught me), but my balance is terrible, and my endurance is pathetic.

This led to me huffing and puffing down the length of the room and probably appearing half-drunk. All the men watched, of course.

I WANTED TO DIE.

I told myself then and am trying to tell myself now that maybe they admired my moxie? After all, I was obviously out of my comfort zone and I was pushing through. But they probably were thinking, "What is this chubby chick doing? I really hope she doesn't have a heart attack. I have more reps to do and a crew of EMTs would disrupt that."

Tomorrow I get to go back and do the whole thing all over again. I am so not looking forward to it. But I keep browsing the internet for cruise clothes and I really, really want to feel more comfortable with my body before that trip. So I shall press on.

Only 35 more sessions left ;)

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It's Official - I'm Going to Hate Myself

I did it! Yesterday I signed up for 36 pre-paid sessions with a trainer (3x a week for 3 months) and we did an assessment workout.

My assessment is that I am going to HATE myself. I am really glad that I bit the bullet and made that commitment, but there are going to be MANY, MANY times when I will surely question my sanity for subjecting myself to this torture - especially 36 promised sessions of torture.

I've already felt twinges of regret. They come, for example, every time I use the stairs and my butt feels like someone is going to town with a chisel on each cheek.

But, in the end, I'd rather hate myself for pushing myself than hate myself for being lazy and taking no action whatsoever.

I think it is pretty clear from my yo-yo dieting and constant vows of "I will improve" and "this time will be different," that I am currently incapable of committing to changing my body on my own. I'm furious at myself that my health and my desire to look better isn't motivation enough, but I  clearly need something more.

Maybe feeling accountable to my trainer will help give me the added push I need (after all, I am a people pleaser). Maybe knowing how disgusted I'd feel with myself if I wasted this money will do it. Maybe the very fact that I bet this large sum of money on myself will empower me and I'll switch into kick-butt mode.

Whatever the case, I truly believe that I will be better off once these 36 sessions are complete. It's just up to me how much better off I'll be. And I know that I'll be mad at myself mid-workout when I am exhausted and in pain, but I know it'll be worth it.

I may just have to avoid stairs as much as possible for the next 3 months. I wonder how Joe would feel about moving our bed downstairs to the living room ;)

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Weigh-in Wednesday

I am FINALLY the lowest I have been in 2014:

It's taken me nearly a month to make up for my two weeks of sloth and gluttony following my toe incident, but here I am :) In two months I am officially down 6.8 pounds.

I have also made two big decisions with regards to my weight loss.

The first decision was to rejigger my points and to make 2500 the goal before the cruise instead of 3000.

***Side Note*** For anyone new to the blog, here's where I explain my point system. The big prize I get for hitting my points is new clothes for our June cruise. ***End of Side Note***

I feel a little like I've cheated, but there is ZERO way that I was going to be able to attain the 3000 points. So it's either abandon the points all together, or re-evaluate them. Afraid that I was justifying something that shouldn't be justified (after all, this WAS an attainable goal when I first set it), I talked to Joe. He pointed out that Paparazzi has been taking up such a HUGE amount of time, that when I predicted my point-earning ability per day I had no idea that I was essentially going to be working a full time AND and half time job. There are also things that I've dropped earning points for (like going to church, since I felt wrong giving myself points for that), and I didn't adjust my original goal to reflect those changes.

So 2500 points it is - and according to Joe I am NOT allowed to change this again. No new clothes if I don't hit it. Given that I've been doing some online perusing of cute outfits lately, I refuse to let that happen.

Just a little inspiration courtesy of ModCloth.

Also, since I shouldn't be let entirely off the hook, I've eliminated my mini-rewards. I figure a new cruise wardrobe is motivation (and expensive) enough, and it's not fair that I get everything I promised myself when I haven't fully committed myself.

My other big change is that I have decided to hire a personal trainer. I had a trainer for several months about 5 years ago, and it really kept me consistent with going to the gym. I couldn't just back out because I didn't feel like going. I was also able to push myself a lot more, especially with weights, because I trusted he knew that what he was asking me to do was possible.

Yesterday while I was half-assedly using the elliptical machine and thinking of all the cute clothes I wanted to buy for the cruise, I realized that even if I earn the points to get the clothes - who says I'll actually look good in them. To-date, I've earned nearly 1000 points and lost 6.8 pounds. With only 1500 more points to go, if I lose at the same rate I won't even hit a total of 20 pounds lost before the cruise. 

Not cool.

My ability to hire a trainer is twofold:

a.) Trainers are surprisingly cheap in Philly.  The cost is about half of what it would have been to have a trainer in San Francisco.

b.) My job pays based on output and I am able to work as much as I want. This means I have the unique opportunity to "pay" for extras just by working extra hours. While it stinks to increase my workload even more, I feel like I would be a fool to turn down what I am viewing as free training (since our monthly income vs. expenses will work out to the same thing). 

So today I go in for my free consultation (30 minutes of goal-planning, 30 minute training session) and I'm going to just bite the bullet and officially sign up.

I planned to wait until after I got back from California to start training, but the last thing I want is to go into vacation-mode early and start eating bad in anticipation of the fact that I won't be eating the best while I am there (I ALWAYS do that). Plus, knowing I have someone who I will be accountable to when I return may mean that I am able to be more disciplined while I am gone. 

Wish me luck! I am sure to need it today.

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Weigh-In Wednesday... A Little Late

I'm late with Weigh-In Wednesday again, but at least I did it :) I was a little afraid of my weight this week because of our HUGE Valentine's dinner. BUT I was down! Woot Woot!

I am officially down 5.6 pounds since the beginning of January. I'm still making up for those pounds I gained while nursing my broken toe (with wine and food, of course) a couple weeks ago, but 5.6 pounds is not too shabby. That's a 1.8 pound drop from last week.

Today I FINALLY got my butt back to the gym and did a 40 minute workout. I even walked there and back, which allowed me to log 60 total "exercise" minutes. I definitely needed those points. I'm still on track to earn my new cruise clothes, but I need to work a lot harder than I have been.

Anyways, it's late, I'm exhausted, and the number of things I have to do tomorrow is psyching me out pretty bad. I hope to blog more soon :)

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Weigh-In Wednesday

After avoiding the scale for a couple weeks, I finally sucked it up and weighed myself. I knew I was going to gain, and I did:

Last weigh-in Wednesday (January 30) I was 201.8. I started the year at 207.8, so it was a solid 6 pound loss. Then "blahness" set in, I stopped going to the gym, I hurt my toe, and I ate and drank more than I should on more than one occasion. I'm still down 3.8 pounds since January 1, so at least that's something, but I am disappointed that not only did I gain, but I wasted 2 weeks where I could have lost weight. Had I stayed on the wagon, I would almost certainly be in the 190's today.

That's a rough pill to swallow.

We are getting closer and closer to our cruise this June, and I want to drop a solid amount of weight by then. With 18 weeks to go, I think it's totally possible to lose a total of 35 pounds (that includes the 3.8 that I am already down)... so I am going to aim for that. With a 35 pound loss, I'd be 172.8.

To help visually motivate me (you know, because my flab hanging over my jeans isn't enough visual motivation), I created this weight loss tracker that I hung by my scale in the bathroom:

On the left are the number of pounds I still have to lose, on the right are the number of pounds that I have lost.

Of course, I still have my points and if I don't start exercising again soon, there is ZERO chance I'll be able to earn my final prize of new clothes for the cruise.

Hopefully my new tracker and my (increasingly-difficult-to-achieve) points goal will help motivate me :) 

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Our Cruise is Booked!

I am so excited to announce that Joe and I have (finally) booked our cruise for this June! We will be traveling from New Jersey (oh so convenient!) to beautiful Bermuda!

Okay. So if you are a weirdo like me, you probably read Bermuda and couldn't help but think of the Bermuda Triangle.

I found this when looking up pictures of Bermuda. That is absolutely terrifying.
This image may will haunt my dreams until June.

I have been petrified of the Bermuda Triangle since I was a child and went on some ride at Sea World that had a Bermuda Triangle theme. I swore I would never fly or boat anywhere near there. But, here I am: voluntarily boating to the actual island.

I must be growing up ;)

***Side Note*** Either that, or I liked the convenience of sailing out of New Jersey and the cheaper fare this specific cruise had compared to others. ***End of Side Note***

Joe and I have never been out of the country together (shoot! I need a new passport...) and he has never been on a cruise before, so this is going to be great :)

If you recall from the point system I started last month, I will reward myself if when I reach 3000 points, and that reward will be a shopping spree for clothes for the cruise. The cruise we booked is two weeks later than we initially expected, and I will certainly be needing every single one of those days to make up for some bad choices lately.

Ever since the last wave of snows started (almost 3 weeks ago), I haven't set foot in the gym. The thought of driving (let alone walking) in the weather we have had lately was seriously unappealing. Then there was the dental school formal where I ate and drank too much and the Super Bowl party where I ate and drank too much. I fully intended on getting back to the gym this week, but my broken toe from last Sunday has made that impossible.

***Side Note*** I have no idea if it actually broke, but it hurt like a mother and I couldn't do much more than hobble around for a week. It's feeling much better now, but it's still not 100% ***End of Side Note***

I plan to try Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred tomorrow as a test with my toe. If I can make it through, then I'm going to try to do the Shred most days and run at the gym 3-4 days a week. Lofty goals, but I need to make up points and lose some weight.

I only have 132 days until the cruise, and that means I'll need to average 17 points a day to hit my goal. Since I want to have time to shop for the clothes, I probably need to average something more like 19 a day. It's definitely do-able; I've averaged 18 points a day since starting (and that includes 3 weeks of no exercise), but it really doesn't allow me to lose focus.

And I don't want to just earn these points through great oral hygiene and keeping the house clean (some of my non-exercise / non-food-related ways to earn points). While these things are important and the point system is designed to help me improve in lots of areas, I need to lose weight. I am currently obese (according to the stupid BMI chart which doesn't account for how incredibly dense I am). This is not a label I want. I certainly don't want it when Joe and I decide to start our family, since obesity can increase the chance of miscarriage and fertility issues.

Speaking of starting a family... I'm going to share a juicy tidbit ;)

Joe and I have picked a month. An official "pull the goalie" month.

Now, before you get too excited - this doesn't necessarily mean that this month is in 2014 (heck, the specific month could be January 2042). And it CERTAINLY won't be before the cruise since we are getting the unlimited booze package (pricey, but worth it haha).

There are lots of things we plan to do and a certain place Joe needs to be in school before that month. We also understand that we aren't in control of everything and situations can change (especially concerning distant plans). But for an obsessive planner like me, I feel so at peace with an actual timeline in my head.

And, no, we're not telling you what that timeline is.

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Weigh-In Wednesday (on a Thursday)

As of today, it's been 4 weeks since I've started my point system. I earned enough points for my first reward (a manicure) on Monday, and yesterday I was down 6 pounds:

While 6 pounds is nothing to scoff at and I technically earned my point reward in time for the dental school formal (which was my goal), I know that I could have done a lot better.

Once the snowstorm hit Philly 10 days ago, I stopped going to the gym. First it was because I was scared to drive in the snow, then it was because I have been swamped with my real job, starting my jewelry business, and taking care of everything around the house. To deal with the stress, I have also been drinking more than I should. 

Since I deduct points for drinking and I don't get points if I don't go to the gym, I could have probably hit my first milestone a week or so ago. This isn't a huge deal yet, but there is no way I'll be able to earn my final reward in time for our June cruise unless I step it up. 

So step it up I shall.

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Weigh-In Wednesday

Weigh-in Wednesday was unkind to me this week. I don't want to share the picture, but this morning I was 1.5 pounds up from last Wednesday. While my actions over the last week didn't necessarily warrant weight loss, I really didn't expect to be up. So I am disappointed.

It's a common recommendation to weigh yourself once a week, and this week I tried doing that. What I realized, though, is that when I don't weigh myself daily I don't keep myself accountable on a day-to-day basis. Plus, I build up the weekly weigh-in WAY too much. I was scared and anxious for most of last night just thinking about stepping on the scale this morning. And if I weren't going to weigh myself for another week, I'd probably feel like crap for the next several days.

So I'm going to go back to daily weigh-ins (for now). I'll still do "Weigh-in Wednesdays" on this blog to keep myself more publicly accountable, but I need to micromanage myself.

I did manage to make it to the gym yesterday for week 3 / day 2 of c25k - so that's a win! Philly is experiencing a major snowstorm, and I finished up my workout as the first layer of snow was dusting the ground. I had planned to hit up the grocery store to stock up a bit, but it started coming down fast and I wanted to make it home before the Californian in me freaked out and was unable to drive. Joe and I will just have to get creative with our meals for the next several days.

I complained a lot about the heat and humidity last summer, but I'd give anything for a taste of it right now.

In other news, Joe and I are FINALLY watching Scandal.

Yes, just like with Breaking Bad, Walking Dead, Downton Abbey, Sherlock, and many others, I am late to the party with this show. But, better late than never.

It's not that I haven't been eyeing it as must-see TV. Ever since I heard how juicy Scandal is, I've wanted to convince Joe to watch it with me. He was reluctant, until last night, so I jumped on his willingness to give it a shot. We both really liked it (when will he just learn to trust me with TV shows? I have excellent taste!), so it'll be our new hour-long show for as long as it takes for us to catch-up with the current season.

***Side Note*** This shouldn't take long; Joe and I can't casually watch a show we like. We totally binge-watch. There are 29 episodes on Netflix and I predict we will be finished in 10 days. That number would definitely be smaller if it weren't for dental school. ***End of Side Note***

I am so excited to see what else is in store for Olivia Pope and crew!

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Exhausted - But I Found a Dress!

I'm not doing great with points lately.

Exercise, in particular, has been rough. I am so exhausted with everything I am trying to balance that I have skipped the gym for the last several days because I am so mentally and physically exhausted that I can't imagine adding one more thing to my day.

I am really scared for weigh-in Wednesday this week. There have been a couple nights of drinking (one was date night and the other was going to bar with some of Joe's friends). That, combined with our ice cream sundaes & a lack of exercise will probably lead to some disappointment come Wednesday morning.

I have to remember, though, that I am doing much better than I was before the point system. Aside from the ice cream sundae, I have had ZERO desserts since January 2. I have also been drinking a ton of water, drinking MUCH less soda, taking my vitamins, and haven't gone out to eat once. Frankly, this is why the points are so helpful. Even though I am not doing as great as I'd like in some areas, I am still doing good in others. In the past, all-or-nothing me would give up on everything if I messed up in one area, so this is certainly an improvement.

Anyways, enough with that.

On Saturday I went shopping to try to find a cheaper dress for Joe's dental school formal than the $100 one I bought off of Zappos. I found a cute one at Dress Barn, but it wasn't on sale and the zipper was broken.

***Side Note*** Is it just me, or is "Dress Barn" a truly terrible name for a woman's clothing store? ***End of Side Note*** 

Anyways, that night I checked the website to see if there were any cheaper dresses and found a coupon! So yesterday I rushed over to a different Dress Barn and got the dress :) Here it is:

I love that back! Of course, no one will see it because I hate my arms and will be wearing a sweater - but hopefully I can wear this sweater-less on our cruise this summer :) I love that it has a tie waist, because that way even if I lose weight I can still wear it.

***Side Note*** Ouch. 'Even if?' How do I plan to be successful at weight loss with talk like that?! ***End of Side Note***

So that is one less thing on my mind. Thank goodness for that. After Saturday's lack of success, I figured I'd be shopping all next weekend trying to find something. Now I just have to figure out what the heck to do with my hair...

On that note, Pinterest is calling ;)

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Weigh-In Wednesday #1

I've decided that since I am using this blog to help keep me accountable about losing weight, I need to regularly post updates on said weight. I've decided to do this every Wednesday. Though I hate exposing something so private, at least the number should never again be as high as the one I so bluntly posted when I started this journey on January 2.

So here we go, after 2 weeks of healthier eating, much less drinking, and more exercise (just finished week 2 of C25K yesterday!), this is where I stand as of this morning:

That's a 4.8 pound drop! Not too shabby :)

I've also earned 319 points, and only have 181 to go until my first reward.

***Side Note*** I originally planned to give myself rewards every time I reached 600 points, but realized that my math was a little off and that would be a little too ambitious. Too ambitious means that I might give up, too flexible and I might not push myself enough. It's a fine line, but I think 500 points is a good compromise ***End of Side Note***

I am REALLY digging this point system. I usually feel so resentful that I CAN'T eat what I want and I HAVE to exercise (I don't like being told what to do haha), that my diets usually fail really quickly. With the points, I am choosing to exercise, eat well, and make better health decisions. I haven't had one fast food meal or any sweets at all since I started, and I don't even miss them (very much). I have drank a couple times, because sometimes it's nice to unwind with Joe and a glass of wine. But the few times I have had something to drink it was much less than I usually have. I know that if I forbid certain things, there's no way I'd stick to any diet. Eventually, I may eliminate certain things that I am currently just cutting back on (e.g. diet coke: my biggest vice), but I'll decide that down the line.

For now, I'm really content and really proud of myself.

And I can't wait for that manicure 181 points from now :)

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That Darn Scale

For those of you who have followed my blog for a while, you know that I hate my scale. In fact, I've affectionally named it Linda after Linda Blair from The Exorcist because I believe that it is possessed by an evil entity.

See! I even caught it on camera ;)

Not my feet

I started my points last Thursday and weighed in at 207.8 that morning. The next day I weighed myself and was down to 205.8! I was pumped, but not super surprised because my body always sheds pounds pretty quick the first week of a diet.

But then something happened that has NEVER happened the first week of a diet: I gained. I took a couple of days off from the scale and weighed myself yesterday morning. I was dumfounded to see that I was up to 208.8. So that was a 1 pound gain from Thursday and a THREE pound gain from Friday.

It made zero sense because I was pretty good over the weekend. I did drink a little Saturday night, but my total weekend drinking was probably 20% of what it usually is. I didn't go to the gym, but I did walk a lot and got exercise points. I also drank a TON of water.

Thinking that Linda was just being Linda, I moved the scale all over the bathroom floor to see if I could get a better reading somewhere else.

Nope.

Annoyed as I was, I still went to the gym and tried to remain positive. I figured that the batteries just needed changed or something. After changing the batteries last night, I confirmed with hand weights that the scale is 100% accurate - down to the ounce.

So when I weighed myself this morning, I was really scared. Scared because I knew that I couldn't blame Linda if the scale was still reading 208.

It was.

I'm really discouraged and frustrated. I know that people say you can retain water when you start exercising, but that hasn't happened to me before. Nevertheless, I'm going to press on and hope that tomorrow I see a smaller number. It has to eventually go down, right?

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My Old Navy Haul

I heard that Old Navy was having a sale on compression pants today, and figured I might as well check it out. After all, what better way to christen my New Year's fitness plan than to buy some new threads? :)

I went a little crazy. But I don't have many workout clothes and the prices were super cheap. I haven't looked at activewear lately (*cough* in probably 2 years), and was surprised at some of the cute stuff I found!

Somehow, 4 pairs of pants wound up in my bag. The 3 below and another pair of patterned black pants that aren't on Old Navy's website. (Also, the middle pair are actually full-length pants). 

I also got 4 shirts (one of which is also not online):

And I was shocked to find a sports bra that kept the girls down nicely for just $7.50.

So I bought 4.

Hey! That's the price of one usually. And it is tough for me to find sports bras that are supportive enough.

With all that shopping, I didn't have time to make it to the gym today before dark - so I earned some points by cleaning the living room. But don't worry - I'll be at the gym tomorrow morning in one of my new outfits :) I'm actually excited!

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So Far, So Good

After two days on my point system, I'm happy to report that I am off to a good start!

Yesterday, I started C25k for probably the 5th or 6th time (with an attempt at Zombies, Run! in there as well). It felt easier than I remember. But, then again, EVERY time I exercise is easier than my mind tells me when it's trying to talk me out of going to the gym.

It's quite possible, though, that living on the third floor of an apartment building without an elevator (and our bedroom being an additional floor up), has strengthened my leg muscles. That would be pretty sweet :) It certainly hasn't made me svelte.

Today it was hard to convince myself go to the gym - but boy, oh boy did the point system help.

Philly got a snowstorm last night that was bad enough Joe's classes were canceled. Not feeling that a California girl like me should drive in it, I knew that if I were to go to the gym today it would be by foot. Although it's just a 10 minute walk each way, I dreaded it all day.

But I wanted those dang points! So I bundled up and headed out after I wrapped up work.

In truth, saying that I "bundled up" is misleading - but it's what I thought I had done.

I realized that I had, in fact, grossly underestimated the cold as soon as I stepped outside. But I was afraid that if I went all the way back upstairs to add some layers and (oh I don't know... maybe a HAT) I wouldn't be able to get myself back out the door.

So I trudged along feeling like my face was on fire and my head was getting pressed together by a vise. My hands, while glove-adorned, felt completely frozen. When I arrived at the gym, the lady who checked my card took one look at me and declared I was a crazy person.

I guess my wind-chapped face and pathetic excuse for "bundling" clued her into my not-so-wise choice.

I was still in shock from the cold ;)

I decided to do C25k again because I wasn't about to get clever with workouts. Given that there's never more than a minute of running at a time this first week, I figured I wasn't going to kill myself by doing two days in a row.

I made it back home and am thrilled to announce that I'll be spending the rest of the night under the covers catching up on Revenge :)

Oh - and at some point I'll do some lunges and squats. Ugh.

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I've Ripped off the Band-Aid AND Decided on Rewards

One of my least favorite parts about starting a diet is the first time I step on the scale to assess how much damage I have done since the last time I tried to lose weight. I am usually so scared that I hold off several days to try to lose something so the shock isn't as bad.

But the band-aid has already been ripped off, because a couple of days ago I fully faced the damage I have done to my body since college - in visual, rather than numeric, form.

For some reason (*cough* booze), I was nostalgic and decided to look back at some of my early Facebook photos. After having deleted picture after picture from my camera over the holiday season, I was all-too-aware of how I currently looked in photos.

I had forgotten how I used to look...

During my sophomore year of college, I lost about 25 pounds and weighed in at 145 by that summer. Though I gained about 15 pounds between my lowest and meeting Joe a couple months after my college graduation, I still looked good (though I, of course, still thought I was "fat").

Junior year of college (2006), summer after graduation (2008), a year after meeting Joe (2009)

Now, let's compare that to this holiday season:

That middle one was from Christmas and made me want to crawl in a hole and die. The angle, lack of shower, and oversize wool sweater certainly didn't help ;)

Yikes.

I am sure that as soon as I hit "publish" I'll regret posting these pictures. After all, Joe and I have family and friends who read this blog and there are even people in his dental school class who check it out from time-to-time. It's humiliating to see the consequences of my laziness and inability to control what I put in my mouth (twss).

But these people see me IN REAL LIFE - when I am not posing for a camera and trying to strategically position my body for the most flattering angle possible. It's not like it's any secret that I have a weight problem.

So screw it. Screw being embarrassed. Screw wondering what people will think. I'm so over it. I want this journey to be an honest one, and I can start by laying out exactly where I am starting from.

***Side Note*** I feel like I am probably getting some rolled eyes out there because this is certainly not the first time I have been very candid with wanting to lose weight. I've even had a couple of very successful months blogging about exercise, diet, and shedding pounds - only to give up and gain it all (and then some) back. I can't promise that this time will be different, because each time I swear I am in this for the long run I get diverted, but this time feels different. ***End of Side Note***

This morning I woke up early, hopped on the scale and busted out the tape measure. Here's my starting point:

I am officially at my highest weight ever :(
It's a 10 pound increase since I stopped my diet this summer.
I am so disappointed in myself, but I was expecting worse - so I'll take it.

Measurements:
Arms - 13.5
Chest - 43.5
Waist - 38.5
Hips - 48
Thighs - 27.5
Calves - 17

So there you have it, folks. I also have some before pictures Joe took of me (bless that man) - but I think I'll save those for some kind of weight loss milestone. I've uploaded enough disappointment for one day ;)

On a happier note - I have determined the rewards for my point system!

In the past when I have done point systems, I usually faltered when I wasn't getting rewards quick enough. For this reason, I wanted to make sure I could realistically get a reward every 3-ish weeks. I decided that the sweet spot would be 600 points earned. So every time I hit 600, I get a little something for the effort :)

600 points - Manicure (just in time for the Dental school formal)
1200 points - 5 pieces of Paparazzi jewelry
1800 points - Manicure (just in time for our Spring Break trip to CA!)
2400 points - $100 shopping money
3000 points - 5 more pieces of Paparazzi jewelry
3600 points - Salon day
4200 points - New clothes for our June cruise! (to celebrate Joe's 1st year)

The cruise clothes are the biggie that I am SUPER pumped about. If my calculations are correct, 4200 points will take me to the end of May and that doesn't leave much shopping time. This means that I need to seriously bust butt to make sure I earn this reward.

And, on that note, I need to finish up my work for the day so I can hit the gym! Today I start C25K (again).

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