Busy, busy, busy

Wow - my blogging has been pretty nonexistent lately. Apologies for that. There hasn't been much going on in the Brier household the last 5 or so weeks. Joe is swamped with school, and I am swamped with work and Paparazzi stuff. While I am thrilled that it's taken off as it has (I have online parties booked every night for the next 8 nights - only stopping because I leave for 10 days in California after that), I have been running myself ragged trying to work my real job and trying to keep up with all the demands of this jewelry business.

Last week I had parties on 4 nights - it takes me about 2 hours per night (1 for the party, 1 for prepping/wrapping up), so that is 8 hours. Then, it took me about an hour to invoice, 2 hours to sort all the jewelry, and 5 hours to pack all the packages. The post office trips (I had to do 2 so far) added up to about 1 1/2 hours (darn those lines). I also had to prep marketing materials for the parties, which I probably spent another 1 1/2 hours on. So that means I spent about 19-20 hours last week on those two Paparazzi parties. Based on what I sold, I probably made about $280, so that means that this part-time job paid out around $14 an hour.

Honestly - not bad.

I'm actually happy I took the time to calculate that since I've been pretty frustrated with how time consuming it's been - haha. But when I have a full-time job already, devoting 20+ hours a week to a hobby is just not something I am going to be able to keep up.

How true this is haha

Frankly, the reason I started Paparazzi in the first place is because I was hoping it could evolve into a big enough moneymaker that when I needed to look for another job (since mine is a contract position), we'd have a cushion (since Philly's job market SUCKS). Deep down, I dreamed it could get big enough that I could do Paparazzi full-time and not have to find something else.

I'm seeing now that is actually a real possibility. The only catch is that my contract job is going really well, and it sounds like it's going to last a lot longer than I expected.

So now I need to make some serious decisions about how I want to proceed. I think what makes obvious sense is to cut way back on the parties once I get home from California next month. I'll probably just do one a week (instead of the 2-3 that I have been doing lately). It really stinks because I enjoy doing it, but my real job pays based on output. If I have extra time on my hands, it makes financial sense to do more of my actual job than to do jewelry parties.

Once that job is finished, I'll be able to ramp the jewelry biz back up :)

***Side Note*** And, by the way, don't get me wrong - I absolutely see the blessing in being busy because of work. It took a long time for me to find a job when we moved to Philadelphia, and I am so grateful that I am able to support my little family. I am especially grateful that this job is SO AMAZING - I truly could not ask for anything better. That said, were it not for Paparazzi, I'm sure I'd be bored out of my mind and have too much time on my hands. So I just need a happy medium. ***End of Side Note***

Alright - so it's settled. I have a plan moving forward!

I guess blogs can be therapeutic ;) it's nice to have a place to get my thoughts out... sorry you were along for this ride. I'm sure this didn't make the most entertaining post ;) But when all I've been doing and thinking about for the last 5 weeks is jewelry and work, you can't expect anything too exciting from me.

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I Got This

Okay. Allow my to toot my own horn for a minute.

I feel like Superwoman.

Just two days ago I feared that with my new job I wouldn't be able to keep up with the house, my husband, & Buster (a.k.a. the neediest dog that ever lived). But today I have finished my self-imposed somewhat-ambitious work quota by 3:30 p.m.!

Without going into too many details (I can't risk this sweet gig), the writing I am doing for unnamed internet company consists of tasks that take the average writer on the project about 10 minutes.

I am not average.

While I'd like to say I am ABOVE average, when it comes to speed that would be a lie. In truth, I am slower than most people at everything I do (especially running). I am a perfectionist, and so what takes the average person 10 minutes would typically take me 20 to 30. And that was my rate... at first.

Over the last couple days, though, I've become a speed-demon and am completing my tasks at an average of 10 1/2 minutes each (and that includes when Buster jumps on me and looks up at me with his sweet eyes just begging to be pet).

BOOM!

I recently made the comment that I have never felt like my life was more in control, but at the beginning of this week I spent a couple days worrying that working & homemaking would cause me to tumble back into anxiety-land. After today, I feel like I kicked anxiety in the face and told it to leave me alone forever - I got this.

What a great note to end the week on.

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The Work-Wife Balance

I completed training yesterday for my new freelance writing job (more details here), and got the official go-ahead to start working independently this afternoon. Always the overachiever I, of course, way overestimated how quick I thought I'd be and so I am already behind.

Not good.

Based on my production so far, my workdays are going to be about 9-10 hours until I can increase my speed. This should be fine, seeing as how I am a bored dental school wife with a husband who studies or is in class 12-15 hours a day. What I've already realized, though, is that Joe and I have been spoiled by my recently-developed domesticity. I won't lie, the apartment isn't spotless, but I've been keeping up with the laundry, keeping our surroundings presentable, running all errands, and cooking dinner almost every single night.

***Side Note*** Plus, I have a gym membership that expires in 3 weeks and has been used far too little to justify renewing unless I step it up. Then again, if unemployed me couldn't get off her lazy butt to go to the gym, why on earth would I think adding a full-time job would make it any easier? ***End of Side Note***

I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up.

But keep up I'll have to, because I can't expect Joe to pick up any slack. So instead of wondering how I can do it, I'll channel my inner overachiever (who has been in hibernation while unemployed) and repeat:

Here's hoping caffeine and great organizational skills will push me through ;)

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Job Hunting

Now that my family is gone and Joe and I are almost fully settled (that's right, a month in and we are still unpacking), I've started looking for a new job. I have a lot of anxiety around looking for a job, and for a long time I thought it was because I was worried I wouldn't find something.

I've realized that's not the case. At the risk of sounding conceited, I know I will find something eventually. It may not be exactly what I want to do or pay what I hope, but I have a college degree, great references, and 3+ years of "real world" work experience. Plus, I trust that God has a plan, and worrying about the inevitable is a waste of time.

What I've determined the cause of my anxiety to be is the fear of being uncomfortable. For a control-freak like me, discomfort is no bueno.

Think about it, every step of the process is uncomfortable: from trying to sell yourself in your resume/cover letter/interview, to potentially negotiating salary, to meeting the boatload of new co-workers you will interact with for 40 hours every week, to trying to learn the ropes of a new job while not seeming like an idiot by asking a million and one questions.

The thought of it all turns my stomach and makes my heart race.

But with Joe starting dental school next month (HOLY CRAP - HE'S STARTING DENTAL SCHOOL NEXT MONTH!!!!!!!! IT'S FINALLY ALMOST HERE!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!), I've gotta be the sugar mamma and bring home that bacon.

MMMMM bacon.

Speaking of bacon, this whole launch into weight loss is not going well. First, we had to abandon our Insanity plans because we didn't want to bring our building crashing down with all the jumping. Then, I seriously busted up my toe on my new Ikea desk and couldn't start the 30 Day Shred.

When my toe felt better, I couldn't even imagine trying to exercise because it is so hellishly hot and humid. I've tried eating somewhat healthy, but we had leftover pie. And ice cream. And pizza.

Now that my toe is healed and the pie, ice cream, and pizza are gone, I'm thinking that tomorrow might be the day I officially start a(nother) weight loss journey. I know just the thing that will motivate me, but I am not sure if I can do it.

I'm about to get real with ya'lls - so don't laugh/mock/or otherwise make me regret my honesty. I am 99.9999% sure that I now weigh 200+ pounds. That's 12 pounds up from where I abruptly stopped trying to lose weight around Christmastime, an assumed (because I didn't weigh myself) 30-40 pounds up from my wedding two years ago, and 55 pounds up from my lowest adult weight (sophomore year of college after several months of eating super healthy and daily exercise). And that all is assuming it's not more than the dreaded 200.

I know that if I wake up in the morning and weigh myself, the number I see will be the biggest I have EVER seen, and I am sure that nothing will motivate me more to finally get healthy than that punch to the gut. And, if I can be honest here with that number, maybe the public shame will push me even harder.

But I am petrified.

I guess we'll all see tomorrow if I wuss out or suck it up. I say the odds are 60/40 in favor of me chickening out. But, hey, maybe I'll surprise myself.

I'm Getting a Summer Vacation!

It's official - I gave my notice at work. It's *clearly* a bit early (my last day will be June 14), but I wanted to give as much lead-time as I could. I'm just that considerate of an employee haha.

Joe and I decided that we don't want to rush getting to Philadelphia. School starts around August 20, so we'll probably have an August 1 move-in date at whatever apartment we choose. That gives us six weeks to slooowwwlllyy make our way across the country. We don't want to rush - we want to see the sights and spend some quality time with his family in Missouri.

I'm pumped that I'll have a summer vacation! Something I never thought I'd have again until I was a stay-at-home mom with kids. I guess that when kids are your job, though, summer vacation is the opposite of a vacation ;)

Hopefully, I'll be able to find a job quickly once we get settled in Philly. It's probably not the smartest financial choice to take 6 weeks off before I even start job hunting, but after three years of us both sacrificing and stressing so much, my very sanity requires that I take a step back and breathe before we get on another roller coaster.