Side By Side

As much as I think that UPenn is the perfect place for Joe to attend dental school, there is one thing that I am still bummed out about: the lack of other dental school wives!

Although dental school wife blogs are few and far between, I did find and read a few before arriving in Philly (Ariel's is my favorite, here). These ladies seemed to have found at least a few other married students in their husbands' classes, and had become friends with their wives. I was hoping beyond hope that the same thing would happen for me, but it hasn't :/ 

This is what I imagined, lonely dental school wives bonding over some vino.

Not only is there a serious lack of significant others (come on Penn dental students, step up your game!), but the ones that I am aware of (except one) don't seem interested in making new friends.

That notable exception is a girl who has a fiancé in Joe's class. Her and I have gotten together a few times since school started. We've had fun, but she has a long commute and a busy schedule so we don't have the chance to hang out too often (though we did go to the Philadelphia Museum of Art this Sunday, which was a lot of fun!). 

Despite being pretty busy myself, I've really missed having girlfriends to hang out with - lunches, shopping, chick flicks - and I also feel like I am missing out on a support network of people who know what I am going through. 

A couple months ago I decided that, while I might not be able to make more dental school wives in Joe's class (hmmm... unless I became a matchmaker...), I can try to find opportunities to make friends and create a support network.

Enter: Side by Side.

Side by Side is a support group for Christian women who are married to medical or dental students / professionals. Ariel is the one who brought its existence to my attention back in November, and I was excited to see that there is a chapter in Philly. They meet every 2 weeks and read books about marriage, etc. and provide support for each other. 

I took a leap (I am super nervous about meeting new people) and attended a meeting several weeks ago. All the ladies are medical wives (argh! not even ONE dental wife?), and they seemed very nice. They were discussing The 5 Love Languages, which I have read and highly recommend, so it was easy to insert myself mid-semeseter. 

Unfortunately, holidays, illness, bad weather & guests have prevented me from being able to attend another meeting until last night. But I'm back, and hope to regularly make the meetings. The next book we will be reading is The Love Dare, so we watched the first half of Fireproof (which is about The Love Dare). It's a super cheeseball movie (sorry Kirk Cameron), but it really made me reflect on how lucky I am to have Joe as my husband.

Kind of the point of the group :)

Between now and the next meeting, we are supposed to complete the first 5 dares from the book. I'm excited, because I feel like with work, Paparazzi, exercising, etc. I have become a little distant from Joe. Plus, he's so busy that I've gotten used to being without him - sad thought. These dares will force me to take thoughtful and deliberate actions to make Joe happy.

Although the SBS women aren't dental wives, I still feel fortunate to have found a group of women in a pretty similar situation to my own. And, who knows, maybe another dental school wife will join sometime down the line.

Regardless, even more important than making friends and feeling support is making sure that Joe and I have a strong and happy marriage. I really feel like this group is the perfect place for me to learn to be the best wife and partner I can.

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That Darn Scale

For those of you who have followed my blog for a while, you know that I hate my scale. In fact, I've affectionally named it Linda after Linda Blair from The Exorcist because I believe that it is possessed by an evil entity.

See! I even caught it on camera ;)

Not my feet

I started my points last Thursday and weighed in at 207.8 that morning. The next day I weighed myself and was down to 205.8! I was pumped, but not super surprised because my body always sheds pounds pretty quick the first week of a diet.

But then something happened that has NEVER happened the first week of a diet: I gained. I took a couple of days off from the scale and weighed myself yesterday morning. I was dumfounded to see that I was up to 208.8. So that was a 1 pound gain from Thursday and a THREE pound gain from Friday.

It made zero sense because I was pretty good over the weekend. I did drink a little Saturday night, but my total weekend drinking was probably 20% of what it usually is. I didn't go to the gym, but I did walk a lot and got exercise points. I also drank a TON of water.

Thinking that Linda was just being Linda, I moved the scale all over the bathroom floor to see if I could get a better reading somewhere else.

Nope.

Annoyed as I was, I still went to the gym and tried to remain positive. I figured that the batteries just needed changed or something. After changing the batteries last night, I confirmed with hand weights that the scale is 100% accurate - down to the ounce.

So when I weighed myself this morning, I was really scared. Scared because I knew that I couldn't blame Linda if the scale was still reading 208.

It was.

I'm really discouraged and frustrated. I know that people say you can retain water when you start exercising, but that hasn't happened to me before. Nevertheless, I'm going to press on and hope that tomorrow I see a smaller number. It has to eventually go down, right?

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Downton Abbey is Back! ***SPOILER ALERT***

Longtime readers of this blog may remember two things:

1) I am ALWAYS behind when it comes to good TV
2) Last March Joe and I finally watched Downton Abbey and became mega-fans.

Yes - JOE included :)

He was a hard one to convince to start watching, but he quickly realized how great it is and may have been more excited than me leading up to Season 4's premiere tonight.

SPOILERS from here on out...

***Side Note*** I blame being under-enthused on my anger and shock over the end of Season 3. I mean, OMG - just stab me in the heart why don't you?! ***End of Side Note***

Much like Mary in tonight's episode, I am coming to grips with my grief and (despite some tears shed) was able to accept Matthew's death somewhat and enjoy the premiere more than I expected I would.

***Side Note*** Frankly, I expected to be in tears and depressed for two hours. I don't handle death well, not even fictional deaths. ***End of Side Note***

I am glad that Mary isn't wallowing as much as I feared she might (the 6 month jump cut that down for us viewers. Thanks Mr. Fellows). I am also glad that even though she is clearly distant from baby George, it appears that she wants to be closer to him. Although some people I know can't stand Mary (*cough* Stacey), I like her and want her to be happy. But even I don't think I could manage an even icier ice-queen who spends the whole season shooting daggers at people and refusing to care about her baby.

One person I was not impressed with tonight was Cora. She's always seemed gullible, but tonight she just seemed like a total moron. I have a feeling that poor Anna is in for some trouble thanks to Thomas and Lady's Maid Hussy (I don't remember her name and don't care to learn it).

Of course, it didn't help that Thomas was proven right by that terrible AWFUL nanny. How dare she speak to poor Sibby that way!? I hope she hasn't been the nanny for long :(

Anyways, it's too late for a full de-construct of the episode, but I am happy to say that I have good feelings about this season.

Please Mr. Fellows, don't prove me wrong.

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My Old Navy Haul

I heard that Old Navy was having a sale on compression pants today, and figured I might as well check it out. After all, what better way to christen my New Year's fitness plan than to buy some new threads? :)

I went a little crazy. But I don't have many workout clothes and the prices were super cheap. I haven't looked at activewear lately (*cough* in probably 2 years), and was surprised at some of the cute stuff I found!

Somehow, 4 pairs of pants wound up in my bag. The 3 below and another pair of patterned black pants that aren't on Old Navy's website. (Also, the middle pair are actually full-length pants). 

I also got 4 shirts (one of which is also not online):

And I was shocked to find a sports bra that kept the girls down nicely for just $7.50.

So I bought 4.

Hey! That's the price of one usually. And it is tough for me to find sports bras that are supportive enough.

With all that shopping, I didn't have time to make it to the gym today before dark - so I earned some points by cleaning the living room. But don't worry - I'll be at the gym tomorrow morning in one of my new outfits :) I'm actually excited!

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So Far, So Good

After two days on my point system, I'm happy to report that I am off to a good start!

Yesterday, I started C25k for probably the 5th or 6th time (with an attempt at Zombies, Run! in there as well). It felt easier than I remember. But, then again, EVERY time I exercise is easier than my mind tells me when it's trying to talk me out of going to the gym.

It's quite possible, though, that living on the third floor of an apartment building without an elevator (and our bedroom being an additional floor up), has strengthened my leg muscles. That would be pretty sweet :) It certainly hasn't made me svelte.

Today it was hard to convince myself go to the gym - but boy, oh boy did the point system help.

Philly got a snowstorm last night that was bad enough Joe's classes were canceled. Not feeling that a California girl like me should drive in it, I knew that if I were to go to the gym today it would be by foot. Although it's just a 10 minute walk each way, I dreaded it all day.

But I wanted those dang points! So I bundled up and headed out after I wrapped up work.

In truth, saying that I "bundled up" is misleading - but it's what I thought I had done.

I realized that I had, in fact, grossly underestimated the cold as soon as I stepped outside. But I was afraid that if I went all the way back upstairs to add some layers and (oh I don't know... maybe a HAT) I wouldn't be able to get myself back out the door.

So I trudged along feeling like my face was on fire and my head was getting pressed together by a vise. My hands, while glove-adorned, felt completely frozen. When I arrived at the gym, the lady who checked my card took one look at me and declared I was a crazy person.

I guess my wind-chapped face and pathetic excuse for "bundling" clued her into my not-so-wise choice.

I was still in shock from the cold ;)

I decided to do C25k again because I wasn't about to get clever with workouts. Given that there's never more than a minute of running at a time this first week, I figured I wasn't going to kill myself by doing two days in a row.

I made it back home and am thrilled to announce that I'll be spending the rest of the night under the covers catching up on Revenge :)

Oh - and at some point I'll do some lunges and squats. Ugh.

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I've Ripped off the Band-Aid AND Decided on Rewards

One of my least favorite parts about starting a diet is the first time I step on the scale to assess how much damage I have done since the last time I tried to lose weight. I am usually so scared that I hold off several days to try to lose something so the shock isn't as bad.

But the band-aid has already been ripped off, because a couple of days ago I fully faced the damage I have done to my body since college - in visual, rather than numeric, form.

For some reason (*cough* booze), I was nostalgic and decided to look back at some of my early Facebook photos. After having deleted picture after picture from my camera over the holiday season, I was all-too-aware of how I currently looked in photos.

I had forgotten how I used to look...

During my sophomore year of college, I lost about 25 pounds and weighed in at 145 by that summer. Though I gained about 15 pounds between my lowest and meeting Joe a couple months after my college graduation, I still looked good (though I, of course, still thought I was "fat").

Junior year of college (2006), summer after graduation (2008), a year after meeting Joe (2009)

Now, let's compare that to this holiday season:

That middle one was from Christmas and made me want to crawl in a hole and die. The angle, lack of shower, and oversize wool sweater certainly didn't help ;)

Yikes.

I am sure that as soon as I hit "publish" I'll regret posting these pictures. After all, Joe and I have family and friends who read this blog and there are even people in his dental school class who check it out from time-to-time. It's humiliating to see the consequences of my laziness and inability to control what I put in my mouth (twss).

But these people see me IN REAL LIFE - when I am not posing for a camera and trying to strategically position my body for the most flattering angle possible. It's not like it's any secret that I have a weight problem.

So screw it. Screw being embarrassed. Screw wondering what people will think. I'm so over it. I want this journey to be an honest one, and I can start by laying out exactly where I am starting from.

***Side Note*** I feel like I am probably getting some rolled eyes out there because this is certainly not the first time I have been very candid with wanting to lose weight. I've even had a couple of very successful months blogging about exercise, diet, and shedding pounds - only to give up and gain it all (and then some) back. I can't promise that this time will be different, because each time I swear I am in this for the long run I get diverted, but this time feels different. ***End of Side Note***

This morning I woke up early, hopped on the scale and busted out the tape measure. Here's my starting point:

I am officially at my highest weight ever :(
It's a 10 pound increase since I stopped my diet this summer.
I am so disappointed in myself, but I was expecting worse - so I'll take it.

Measurements:
Arms - 13.5
Chest - 43.5
Waist - 38.5
Hips - 48
Thighs - 27.5
Calves - 17

So there you have it, folks. I also have some before pictures Joe took of me (bless that man) - but I think I'll save those for some kind of weight loss milestone. I've uploaded enough disappointment for one day ;)

On a happier note - I have determined the rewards for my point system!

In the past when I have done point systems, I usually faltered when I wasn't getting rewards quick enough. For this reason, I wanted to make sure I could realistically get a reward every 3-ish weeks. I decided that the sweet spot would be 600 points earned. So every time I hit 600, I get a little something for the effort :)

600 points - Manicure (just in time for the Dental school formal)
1200 points - 5 pieces of Paparazzi jewelry
1800 points - Manicure (just in time for our Spring Break trip to CA!)
2400 points - $100 shopping money
3000 points - 5 more pieces of Paparazzi jewelry
3600 points - Salon day
4200 points - New clothes for our June cruise! (to celebrate Joe's 1st year)

The cruise clothes are the biggie that I am SUPER pumped about. If my calculations are correct, 4200 points will take me to the end of May and that doesn't leave much shopping time. This means that I need to seriously bust butt to make sure I earn this reward.

And, on that note, I need to finish up my work for the day so I can hit the gym! Today I start C25K (again).

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New Year's Resolution: The Point System

Like most people, I always get excited about the fresh start that comes with a New Year. However, I make elaborate resolutions only to quit within a matter of weeks (or, more often, days).

Looking back on my resolutions for 2013, I'm simultaneously ecstatic and grossly disappointed. I had two resolutions: (1) To keep my blog going and consistently post & (2) To lose weight (partially by decreasing my intake of booze).

I count the blog resolution fulfilled, because in 2013 I wrote 145 blog posts! When I started the year, my blog was very new and I was still expecting to give it up any day. I have started countless diaries and blogs in the past, and NEVER continued them. The fact that it's been 14 months since I launched this blog and I am still (mostly) consistently posting is a serious win.

However, the weight loss thing didn't happen in 2013. At all.

To say that I had too many failed diets and hungover mornings last year would be an understatement, which is particularly frustrating because I started 2013 down 7 pounds from the previous month (quite a feat over the Christmas season!). Not only did I not keep my resolution to lose more weight, I greet 2014 about 15 pounds heavier.

A BIG part of me wants to just give up. But I know that I can't. Now that I am 28, weight-loss isn't just about vanity and being able to wear cute clothes, it's about improving my health. Not only am I sick of being a 20-something that huffs and puffs when faced with a flight of stairs, 2014 is (likely) the last full year I have before Joe and I start trying for a baby.

Because of this fact, especially, there are a lot of other areas in my life where I need to grow as well. I don't take very good care of myself (for example: I drink too much booze and soda, don't take my vitamins, rarely attend church & never wear my much needed mouthguard). If I can't take care of myself, how will I be able to take care of a baby? I need to grow more physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy in the next year so that I can approach the next chapter of our lives as the strongest woman possible.

To that end, weight loss is absolutely a resolution, but the bigger resolution is personal growth. I plan to do this by implementing a point system and having it include earning and losing points for weight and exercise-realted actions plus actions in other areas where I need to improve. Each time I reach a certain number of points, I will reward myself with some (non-food-related) reward.

In the past, I have done point systems a few times and I am always most successful at losing weight when I am doing points. I am an incredibly all-or-nothing person, and I've designed my point system to combat that as best I can. Usually, if I have a bowl of ice cream or a glass of wine when I am dieting I decide to "give up" that day and just do a free-for-all since the day has "already been ruined." If I know that there is an event coming up like a holiday, vacation or party where I know I will over-indulge, I'll wait to diet until after said event.

This is STUPID.

With the point system, I can choose to have one glass of wine or one piece of cake (heck! I can have as much as I want), but I'll need to make up those lost points through exercise or other healthy choices.

***Side Note*** Hmmm... you mean, when on a point system I approach a healthy lifestyle the way HEALTHY people do? Interesting. ***End of Side Note***

I know that I won't be able to be on a "diet" my whole life, but hopefully doing the point system will give me the ability to make conscious decisions about my health and to become less all-or-nothing.

And to ACTUALLY change my life!

So now I bet you are all curious as to how the heck I'll get/lose points!

Here's what I've decided I'll be tracking:

HOW I CAN EARN POINTS

• Every 15 minutes of exercise: + 3 points
• Drinking 100 oz of water in a day: + 5 points
• Each serving of fruit or veggies: + 1 point
• Taking my thyroid pill: + 1 point
• Taking my vitamins: + 1 point
• Brushing my teeth TWICE a day: + 2 points (I always do once, often forget at night)
• Flossing once a day: + 1 point
• Wearing my mouthguard at night: + 2 points
• Every 10 minutes of cleaning: + 1 point (I hate cleaning, and Joe loves a clean house. This one's for him. Plus, cleaning does burn calories)
• Every load of laundry: + 1 point (our washer/dryer is in the basement - 4 stories below us with no elevator. I HATE doing laundry)
• Every book finished: + 5 points (I love reading, but haven't been reading much at all lately. I want to get back into it instead of just watching TV in my free time)
• Every blog post written: + 2 points (I've been writing a lot less since I started work, I want to be sure I don't abandon the blog. This includes my Paparazzi blog too)
• Every date from the date jar completed: + 5 points (we haven't kept up with this at all - since it can be time consuming for me to prep the dates, I've just gotten lazy now that I am working. I want to be sure that we keep these dates going)
• Going to church: + 20 points (I feel guilty for even giving myself points for going to church - especially this many - but we have gone to church about 3 times in the last year. I want us to go every Sunday, and having this be a big point-getter should REALLY help get my lazy butt out the door. I told Joe I feel like a terrible person for this, and he said that the fact I recognize that going to church helps my spiritual growth and that the goal of the points is to grow as a person, I shouldn't feel bad. Plus, I am also rewarding myself for a fun date with my husband - this isn't just about getting points for being forced to do things I don't want to do, it's to make sure that lazy me does things she knows she wants to) 

HOW I CAN LOSE POINTS

• Every 12 ounces over 36 ounces of diet coke I drink: -3 points (Okay, okay. I get that 36 ounces of diet coke every day is still a ton and unhealthy. But that's cutting down my intake a lot. My goal will be to decrease that over the course of the next few months and *hopefully* eliminate diet coke as a daily vice)
• Each serving of sweets/dessert: -3 points
• Sleeping past 8 on weekdays & 10 on weekends: -2 points (working from home means I can sleep as late as I want - but it also means that if I start work too late in the day I will be working until after dinner and missing out on time with Joe and time for other important things)
• Staying up past 11 on weekdays & 1 on weekends: -2 points (I still need to make sure I get adequate sleep, so if I am waking up earlier I need to make sure that I am going to bed early enough to get at least 8 hours in)
• Eating out: -5 points for a low-calorie pick or -10 points for whatever I want on the menu (this includes fast food, restaurants and delivery)
• Booze: -2 points (per shot, glass of wine, or can of beer)

As you can see, these points touch on a variety of areas. I also do not give myself points for losing weight or take points away for gaining. I am obsessed enough with the number on the scale, I don't need one more reason to put pressure on that number.  The point is that if I make healthy choices I will lose.

Since today is Joe's last day of break, I agreed we can just bum around today and not worry about anything but enjoying ourselves. So that means that this point system goes into effect at midnight tonight! Wish me luck :)

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