Weigh In Wednesday

It's my first Weigh In Wednesday in about a month, and I've been dreading today since I decided to "take a break" from my diet so I could "enjoy August". I wanted to have fun with Joe before orientation started and, of course, during orientation and the first couple weeks of school. Since I still have a warped relationship with food, I couldn't imagine that fun could be had without food (and alcohol).

But a few things happened lately that made me want to get back to work at weight loss. The biggest one was my response to Joe not wanting to go to the graduate gala this month.

I LOVE any excuse to dress fancy and would normally be super excited that there was a gala coming up. But when Joe told me about it last week, my first thought was, 'Oh my gosh. Not so soon! I haven't had a chance to lose weight for it. How am I going to find a dress that will look good?!' Joe then said he thought it was too expensive and he'd rather us not go unless I really wanted to. Instead of being disappointed in missing out on the fun, I was relieved. Joe was probably impressed that I was willing to forgo the gala to save $$$, but honestly it's because I would have been stressed about it and embarrassed. How sad is that?! The dental school hosts its own gala in December, and I refuse to miss that one because I feel like I am too fat. So it's a perfect motivator! 

There have been other instances lately where the first thing I think is, "I'm too fat for that." I am so sick and tired of thinking that way. And during our weekly dates I've been wanting to take pictures to document what we are doing, but it ends up making me super depressed because I always look SO huge in the pictures. Poor Joe has to take at least 20 of me before I find one that I can live with. Way to take yourselves out of the moment, Kate.

So Sunday I decided that I'd start my weight loss journey again. I've been doing great since, but was still petrified to see the damage when I stepped on the scale the first time after the binge-fest that was August.

Somehow, though, when I stepped on the scale this morning this is what I saw:

Uh. What? If you recall, at my last Weigh In Wednesday on 7/31 I weighed 199.8. So I am actually LESS than my last WIW post? (okay, only 0.2 - but less). I do know that I got down to 198 the morning I decided to postpone my diet, so I did gain some weight- but only 1.6 pounds. Not sure HOW the damage was so little, but I am so relieved. I didn't even get back in the 200's!!!!

I have some theories why it wasn't worse (the main one being that chasing a 4 and 5 year old around burns serious calories haha), but whatever it is I am seriously happy. 

That said, had I not gone off the wagon, I would probably be close to (or even in) the 180's. So next time I want to go off the wagon for an extended period of time, I'm going to consider the weight I would have lost too. Otherwise this could be a dangerous precedent.

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